Sunday, September 13, 2009

Naked Girls


Oh ye of hearty blog-whatever, welcome to the truth of my non-partying existence. Let it be known (doesn't that sound poshy and sort of lawyer like?) that my anniversary and birthday celebrations were. . . . . . .o.k.. Ahhhh, the "burning brown paper bag filled with dog poop on the front porch" week-end. Yes, the anticipation felt when the door bell rings, only to have to stomp out a feces fire. This is metaphorical.
Do you want details? Of course you do. Here it goes:
Cute Hubby came down with the cold of the century just in time for the festivities. Our anniversary was a quiet night spent at home with him sleeping on the sofa, or sitting around in a daze apologizing for being sick. Dear man. Honestly, truly adorable. Not that I minded, I was glad to have some rest after "the day of h*ll" dealing with utility companies on the phone. The highlights being that my internet died for most of the day, I found out that my company had not taken out ANY federal taxes all year, I was given the work schedule from hades for the following week, my hair would not stop doing the "brillo dance", I farted in front of the UPS guy, and I think my carpeting has come down with a permanent case of "smell-like-dog-o-site-us". Let it be known that I do not own a dog, nor did I blush or apologize to the UPS guy.
The highlight of my birthday was the visit from my youngest daughter, who loves me and displays unbounded affection towards me in spite of the fact that I'm always running around the house too fast for her to focus on me. She arrived with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, and left with a headache, looking fabulous the entire time.
Cute Hubby took me out in the morning and bought me the coolest camera on the planet (Fuji digital). There were choices, an awesome new-age green Sanyo & a lipstick red Kodak, but I went for the "spy" camera with a faster shutter speed. Very thin, very black & chrome. He totally rocks, and knew I needed a camera of my own for fashion posts (stop laughing).
Sounds great, right? Ah, but this was the day that my grand daughter picked to transform from my angel of light into Babyzilla. She brought her fine tuned talent of throwing things and piercing our eardrums with screams to "the table", wasn't that nice of her? Cute Hubby had the brilliant idea of playing "Rock & Roll Swindle" on his guitar to distract her, which was awesome. I was exhausted. During this unforgettable hulabaloo, the telephone never stopped ringing with well wishes from loved ones wanting to chat up yours truly on her "special" day.
In reflection, I will tell you that I am truly blessed. My life is full and busy. It doesn't stop for anything, not anniversary's or birthday's. Yes, I know I've been whiny and complaining, but I also see the light in all of this. I could be spending my days a little quieter, sure. But at 51, I could still out run you, yes you. With my brillo hair blowing in the breeze as I sprint past the "perfectly lined lipsticked beauty queens", running after Babyzilla.
Thank you so much for all of your well wishes. And for those of you who called me up when you were really drunk, Phlewwwww! (yeah, you know who you are)
As a final note, if I've forgotten to mention anything, I'm blaming it on menopause.

Love & Lollipops, xo diane

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